Avoiding the 'Death' Talk



There were a couple of moments before my dad died that he would talk about what he wanted to happen after he died.

He told me he wanted to be cremated and that he was adamant about not being displayed in an open casket in front of friends and family.

He would say he wanted people to remember him alive, not dead.

Three weeks before he died, he started talking about his death again. I didn't particularly enjoy talking about what would happen after he died, but this time I humored his discussion.

Howard said that after he was cremated he wanted some of us in the family to scatter his ashes across the world. He said he would rather be in many places than just in the ground in the middle of Oklahoma.

I remember thinking how unique this concept was. It got me thinking about what I wanted to happen to me after I died and why I felt so odd talking about it.

I joked with him that I promised I would scatter his ashes anywhere I went, but I was only going to as an excuse to see the world.

He smiled back at me and said that was fine with him, that I needed to see the world.

Now my father's ashes are in Oklahoma, New York, Ireland, Greece, Turkey, Costa Rica and Nicaragua. We take him on our vacations in tiny carry-on containers.

Mom says that she likes to know that whenever we travel we have him with us. Howard and Mom were supposed to start traveling again after I graduated high school.

Now we all travel in memory of him. 


Written: 1.24.17




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